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In France, the actual dating time is the relationship time. When I brought this subject up with a Frenchman, he simply said, “Why complicate things?”
When I moved to Paris a few month ago, I couldn’t ignore nor resist the sense of romance that permeates throughout the renowned city of love and light. Being here in my twenties, and single, it’s only natural that I seek out the full scope of Parisian living –the food, the culture, and the seduction. In just few months, I must admit I’ve never quite experienced a dating scene as I have here in France.
It’s easy to meet men or women here, but the dating rules are really different.
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| City of Love ♡ |
No getting-to-know
There’s not a lot of time devoted to getting to know the new person. Anglo-Saxons tend to “date” before entering into an intimate relationship, meaning commitment and expectations of the future are not clearly defined. It allows people to meet casually without the pressure of expressing what they want from that person right away.
If two people desire to be together, then you continue to see the other person. If you no longer desire to see the other person, then you leave the relationship. You are either together or you’re not. Why spend time projecting expectations before experiencing a relationship?
The French are not afraid to open themselves up to emotional connections with others. Those I’ve had the pleasure of meeting seemed less guarded, everyone has a fear of rejection or hurt, but it doesn’t seem to be a factor that hinders a French from taking the relationship to the next level. So what starts out as drinks one night can turn into a whirlwind romance before the end of the week. And just as quickly as it starts, a relationship ends.
Chivalry, Romance & Love ✿
Chivalry is never dead
Manners are a core part of French culture and this carries over into dating. Generally, French citizens pride themselves on their hospitality and politeness. It’s often expected to fill someone else’s water glass along with your own and attentiveness becomes second nature at a young age. You do this at dinner with friends and you do this at dinner with “un ami.”
These small gestures really do make a difference when displays of thoughtfulness could mean a future partner that is attentive to another’s needs.
France has truly kept up the tradition of chivalry.
Be “Quietly Confident”
This sensitivity, paired along with their understated but not unnoticed social presence gives off a vibe of being quietly confident. A French woman wants man to appears self-confident enough in himself and his masculinity to not feel the need to speak so loudly, or act so assertively.
There is no need for tickets to the gun show or the basketball game because we feel their “strength” through the way they hold and respect themselves, as well as us.
Let's be Real
The deep conversations first came as a surprise and I thought the person I had just met was maybe a bit dramatic or strange jumping into conversations of that depth. But it is an aspect that I now quite enjoy about French culture. You gain a better understanding of the person you’ve met and the time spent together is usually compelling.
Trust is gained through the exchange. While it’s definitely more comfortable to keep your inner thoughts to yourself and stay reserved, taking the risk to open yourself up to someone has benefits, and these benefits outweigh the risk.
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| What’s your experience been like? ♡ |
I've never been to Paris but I hope I can visit in the future.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any experience since I haven't got the chance to be there. . .yet
ReplyDeleteWell, I always believe in the power of yet. Anyway, thanks for sharing your experiences. It widened my knowledge about the country as well as the norms in dating, I shall say. Honestly, I like their ways. Why complicate things when we can have them at ease, in a chill manner. If you're interested to someone, show it. If not, leave. Don't say anything, promise anything before the relationship because I swear, this really hurts. Don't plant a seed if you can't make it grow.
No getting to know is okay. Chivalry is never dead, yes in here also and being quietly confident and real are also necessary in most countries, if not all. True, staying reserved is more comfortable but showing your true self makes you complete. You can't be in a relationship if you're missing half of you. I also read that the easiest way to find that dream French boyfriend / girlfriend is to speak the language.
ReplyDeleteNot every great romance begins by falling into someone’s arms. Luckily, love doesn’t care if it starts with a story you want to tell your grandkids(. )
ReplyDeleteonline dating is nothing to be ashamed of.
Today, Tinder and other apps or sites have taken over the dating scene. So, why are they still considered taboo meeting spots? Stories are important, but if they’re holding you back from finding the one you love then they’re a hindrance. You don’t have to have an epic love story; you just have to have a story, because that means you’ve found someone you love.
In our busy era, online dating has become the norm. Unfortunately, our feelings have sometimes stayed outdated. It often feels like your only option to make a connection with someone special when you’re always on the run. People are not judging how you met the one you love. They only care if you are happy and healthy in your relationship.
And remember, online dating may be the reason for your meeting, but it’s not the reason for your love.
So, my final words of wisdom? You don’t need a great story. You just need a story with someone you love.